so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
