Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
