she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
