that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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