What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
