We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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