No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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