i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
