Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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