She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
