Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
