I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
