The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
