I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
