she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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