i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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