i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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