Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your cock deserves a montage
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
