didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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