His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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