shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
