i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
