Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
