You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
