So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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