please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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