Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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