i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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