i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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