I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
