Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
