..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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