for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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