Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
