I got her a Nickelback box set.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
