I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
