I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
