I'm so fucking centered right now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
