I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
