yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
