I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
