i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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