I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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