I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
