That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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