when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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