I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
