I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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