whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The feeling are messing with the penis
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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