I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
