No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
